(no subject)

[sandrylene]

I got back from the trip to Germany I'd wanted to take for a few years. I went for three weeks with my sister and my two nephews. We saw Frankfurt, Cologne (barely), Munich, Berlin, and some smaller cities in Germany. I did this shortly after having passed the Goethe Zertifikat exam for B1, and I did for the most part manage to speak comprehensible German on the trip and understand others most of the time, in scenarios like restaurants, a laundromat, on transit, etc. Clearly still much room for improvement, but like, for under three years doing one night a week, this is a lot of progress, and I'm pleased with it.

I am glad I got to spend time with my favorite part of my family. It was really enjoyable and I'm so gratified we were able to go, and none of us seem to have gotten ill as a result.

I'm having a miniature sort of repeat of the feeling that I had when I finished my degree - oh, I've made significant progress on a life goal, what on earth am I doing with myself next?

I am, literally this evening, continuing to take German courses, and starting B2.1, so that's clearly the immediate "what am I doing next?" The thing is, I am at some point in the next probably two years going to hit a point where doing more courses looks less helpful. (I think two more years and I might be equal on French and German, and want to be immersed in order to pick up more complete fluency in both cases.) So after that point, what is my next big life goal? And I don't really know.

I feel like since about 2012 I've had a lot of clear direction on things to go through next, and I need something else in the pipeline to come up with. I think there's an argument to be made that I don't *have* to work on something else next, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to go with that.

How does one come up with life goals, anyhow? I feel like on career, financial, social, and health trajectories there isn't anything I think needs lots fixed. I feel like I may be fundamentally in a place of not knowing what to do with myself if I don't have a thing I think needs fixing, and I'm confused.

Comments

[slipjig3]

Awesome! Welcome back! Please pay no attention to the ill-disguised envy I'm sending your way!

How does one come up with life goals, anyhow? I feel like on career, financial, social, and health trajectories there isn't anything I think needs lots fixed. I feel like I may be fundamentally in a place of not knowing what to do with myself if I don't have a thing I think needs fixing, and I'm confused.

Man, there is no scary place that's quite the same as the "now what?" place. I want to talk about this, but something like 80 different thoughts are vying for attention at the same time, and I have no idea if they match your experience or not, and I don't want to go projecting my own stuff. Of the problems to have, though, it sounds like a good one? Better to have the tools and not need them than the other way around?

[sandrylene]

That is *absolutely* true, yes. For a long time I really had a long list of things that Need Fixing Post Haste and I felt like it was directly impacting what I could *do* with my life. So I certainly appreciate this flavor of problem as being a much better flavor of problem!

Heh, now I am curious about your 80 different thoughts vying for attention. The place I'm in, I think, is one of too often looking for achievement as providing meaning or value for life, and so not knowing what's next on the list is therefore, "wait, does this mean there's a timeline where I stop having meaning?"

[slipjig3]

Dear gods, yeah, the whole personal-worth-is-performance-based thing. Hate it. Haaaate it. Let me see what I can do to untangle what I had going on—I've slept since then, so I'm not sure what got backed up on the cranial hard drive, as it were.